Can anyone just tell me what F*** is wrong with me during the deciding match, where ALL my teammates were doing their best while im there doing things that i cant even remember much now???

Yea.. We lost against Eng Tat Hornets. Im very vex and upset now. I felt as if theres a bomb in me ready to explode in anytime. I felt the blame was on me because i never manage to bring up the team. And as a matter of fact, not only did i never able to perform.. I PLAYED BADLY!!

Everyone was telling me that im just off-form today.. but WHY IT HAS TO BE TODAY??? I really cant understand why i just cant forcus on that game just now..

P.S. Im sorry guys.. especially the one that trusted me the most, John, my coach.. I'd let you down..

Guess I just need time to be alone..
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Good news.

I have no kidney problems! I'm so thrilled when i heard the doctor said that.. No more blood in urine.. Whoo!
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Won against MI. Trash them like 50 points.. However its not that we are good, the thing is they are lousy.. Everyone managed to have a chance to play.. Next will be Eng Tat Hornets and it will be a deciding game..
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What's happening to me??

3 days ago.. i was hit by a teammate during SP training. His teeth hit on my ear and next thing i know, i was bleeding. I visited the hospital because of this incident..

Yesterday, I went to wash up after SP training and realised there was blood in my urine. Its not just abit.. but its whole lot more. Its like im peeing with a mixture of blood and urine. I was startled.. This is the 1st time i'd seen something like this and its really bothering me..
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Whoo.. Ytd had our 2nd match with MinYi. Even we'd lost, i thought we did our best.. I knew i didn't manage to score as much as people expected me to be, but i will try harder next time to make it possible. Hl really played well last night. And im grateful for that.. its no longer a team that depends on me most of the time.. This feeling really bring back memories..
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Had our 1st game in Milo Cup. Won. But not to the fullest. We can play better than that.. I had foul problems and this resulted for holding the score up close. Had to say sorry for the team. Whatever so, more intensity is coming on for the next game..
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